Fred’s Cozy Little Nook

in the undying glow of the crescent sun
i became one with the wind

howling wind breaking the waves
howling wind in the shimmering shade
howling thoughts in the eve of twilight
howling winds blurring my sight

in the passion of the sunlit sky
the internal sea of shame flows
shall i spill my secrets to the world
or hold them in close proximity?

one hundred billion reasons to hope
two hundred million reasons to cope
three hundred thousand reasons to dive
four hundred reasons to drive

wrapped in the sea of shame i lie
prostrate and exposed to the open sky
vulture picking away my bones
cold, white, and bleached beneath a naked sun

i crawl around along the bottoms of complete fury, lost and cold and stripped of all humanity. i know not where i am or where i am headed. the clouds are grey and very heavy. the clouds are grey and very unforgiving. the stain upon my brain is the strain that i seek to refrain.

alone and running in the sunlight
bones clunking along in the sand
metatarsals cannot grasp the sand
loosing ground upon the land

and in the eve of the known huntings did i run and hide from my shame that streaks out behind me not unlike a cloak of anger in the darkness of the night holding the fright of the twilight insidious to my blight.

upon this i fear and dread
my hair falls upon the dead
as my fears dare to head
to the icy patches that are my bed.

i saw you perched on a tree
as quiet as you can be
peering out o’er the sea
waves breaking thoughts with glee

i came to you and heard your song
all the years can take so long
as i watch you undo your thong
making me feel like King Kong

wings you spread so dear to me
silvery in the eyes of a twilight sun
shafts of joy shining through the tree
as you and i become one

my wing touch your wing
my beak touch your beak
my eye trace your shilouette
in the dawn of the misty twilight

and to infinity we fly as one
chasing naked the golden sun
around and around we fly
for we are the only birds in the sky.

–ily–

Alone I stand on the precipice looking out o’er the ocean

What dire unseen consequences lurks beneath the sinking sun

A darkness befalls us never to be had again

For beneath me…

What was blue and wet is now red and hot
What was calm and serene is now agitated and truculent
The Waves…

Like sand to glass the waves make
What was waves of cresting water are now flames licking the shore
What were curious creatures of the ocean are now demons aglow
What were mists are now plumes of smoke
What was a serene paradise is now an ocean of agony

I cry, for the land is barren and bereft of any joy

I try to hold a ray of hope in the face of untrouncable devastation

A face-lit dawn befalls a sea of troubles

The monsters come

The monsters ride the waves of fire

They are interested in you

They are known to you

They become you

They are you.

I sit on top of a vast ocean of knowledge.

Awaiting quietly for the place where the signs come in

O’er the twisty splash of the oceans.

I limp from day to day wishing it was all over

The searing agonizing beam of light

Tearing at my very being

Exposing my heart to the universal Ash of Ages

Lie I in the heat of stars

Cold Fusion to Hot Fission

Ideas swirl about my head to Infinity…

Awake on the peak of time

Strewn out across all space

Unknown to the rest of the Human Race

A pulse beat away from Infinity….

I look with sadness across a sea of Infinity, an endless ocean of ideas, dreams, knowledge, thoughts to tame the raging beast within. I await for a calm notion to profound me; a new spark to burn me; a clear vision to Infinity. Shall it come today or tomorrow I cannot tell and do not know, for it knows its own time in the space that is me.

Where I stand, do I dare to dream?

Silver tendrils enshroud me in complicated ways

Carrying pulses that become me

Knowing the way of the world torn asunder

Silvery pulses enclose the Finger to Forever.

Can a single mathematical expression encompass all that we are? Conventional wisdom says ‘no’, but I beg to differ. I have seen it all — I have peered into the Face of Infinity and witnessed the very equation of Life, the answer to the Universe, and a description for Everything. Whereupon the joke and humor of past times the Answer lies seriously before me. As I look upon the Answer, I am filled at once with intense delight and abject horror. The knowing of a thing is joy; the implication of a thing is foreboding.

As I stand on the threshold of Infinity, I note a rhyme…

Violence is in collusion with Peace, Order is in collusion with Chaos, Life is in collusion with Death. All remains inseparable; all remains deeply intertwined. I can only know a part of it; the knowing of the other part is pure terror and anguish at what must be and what is; intolerable pain and anguish and twisted fears and contortions of the future lines of Humanity to its eventual self-induced destruction.

I cry a billion cries of a trillion souls splayed to the deep oceanic depths of blood so red the photons refuse to bounce; I awalk the shore with my toes stained with blood and my nose filled with the rot of a trillion lost dreams. I cry and weep for the whole of Humanity as I do for the entirety of the Universe; all is lost upon the winds coaxed by the Seas of Change.

I smell my own feet caught in the Hole of Nothingness;

I remain helpless as a dead sacrifice at the top of the peak

I remain lifeless amidst the Infinite Knowledge just beyond my reach

I remain frozen within the fusion of a ton of gravity-crushed dust

I remain thoughtless amidst a wealth of dreams.

I climb out of my hole only to note I just entered it’s bottom; caught in space folding back upon itself endlessly watching my own infinite echoes to nowhere. I tether on the brink of pure unadulterated madness as I seek the geodesic that leads out of this black hole of oblivion of our future dreams and strongly-held beliefs and promises; all is lost to the winds of time and the progress of the end.

And so I take the shovel

And I dig a real hole to the real grave that awaits me

They tell me in a pollyanish way that I should never give up hope, but what is hope but an emotion? I see the encroachment of the Fire Endless and I am supposed to rely on hope to deliver me from the Flames that burns and nips my toes? Smoky toes to the bone.

I lower myself in my self-dug hole and lie myself to rest

It was a good life, fun thinking about the end of the endless stream. It was nice knowing my friends who dared to peer out at Infinity with me; how fortunate for them they could not see the horrors I see, and to experience the reality I experience, and to see the end I see. They are shielded by their ignorance and a delusion of life that will carry them well to their graves.

And so I rest my weary head and close my eyes once more for the last time in the face of Infinity.